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To Write Love On Her Arms Chapter 2
-Title: To Write Love On Her Arms
-Rating: M
-Summary:Vampires search for their other half, the other soul that exists — or will exist in the future — to make them whole. To give them a feeling of being alive. For Kakashi, his half was Sakura and he would do anything to have her back. AU story
-Warnings: Violence
He had found her by accident one day.
She was a small girl—around seven—that had lost everything in a war. She was nearly dead then — starved and skinny — barely being able to look up at him. He was originally planning to eat her but as he looked at those green eyes he found himself unable to act on his decision. She wouldn't even be enjoyable. The bright-eyed little girl was just a walking pile of bones and skin.
He could have left her there, for a human to find her, but again he found himself unable to tear his gaze from those eyes. He couldn't be sure what draw him to them the most. Maybe it was the timidness combined with a wild fire within them? Or maybe it was just because they were so beautiful and maybe even seductive? He could nearly imagine her as an adult giving with those same eyes a seductive, lustful look. The man felt a slight twinge of shame in his chest—here he was, as old as time, swooning over how pretty a little girl's eyes were. But that was the thing about her. The girl just gave him a timid glance. No smile or nothing. And she was still able to capture his attention. There was an almost psychedelic twist to her eyes—he found himself staring at nature through them, envisioning a green field full of trees scraping the sky and multicolored flowers.
He slowly knelt and raised his hand to touch her and the child suddenly reacted and jumped back, afraid of his touch and what his hand could do to her.
Had the war traumatize her to the point she was afraid of everything — of everyone?
It was wise of her to fear him. If he wanted to eat her, he would have already.
He looked a bit more into her eyes and then he got up, deciding that he should really leave, before someone found him or — even worse, he feared, — his companions found her. Maybe he still had some feelings of pity and mercy, but his fellow vampires wouldn't.
As he was about to leave, he felt something holding his pants. The little, peculiar, green-eyed creature was holding him tightly and hid her face as she hugged his leg. He looked around, uncomfortable. He gently tried to move her away, but the little girl, despite being so skinny and seemingly weak, had resisted and he found himself unable to push her away, without using some force.
"I'm scared," he heard her low, girlish voice murmur against his pants. And he felt the part of where she was hiding her face as she hugged his leg getting wet.
Was she crying?
For an unknown reason, that displeased him. It was irrational; he hadn't known the girl for more than a few minutes, hehad evenwanted to eat her at first.
He had to admit that knowing someone was putting their faith in him felt kind of nice
Suddenly he heard footsteps and looked around. From afar he smelled his companions approaching and he looked worried at the little girl.
Everything happened so quickly that he didn't even understand what was really happening. He grabbed the child in his arms and ran. Ran as fast as possible, holding her in his arms, burying her face in his chest, so she wouldn't get scared of the speed. He stopped when he was sure they were far enough from the battlefield.
He looked back to make sure that no one was following them, that he could stop thinking of the possible danger of having to face a hungry vampire while he held an alive human with blood in her veins. He slowly relaxed, realizing that his companions were probably taking care of their hunger in the battlefield.
He slowly turned his attention to the child that was trebling, frightened. She had sat down, hugging her knees and sobbing as silently as she could. He heard her small heart beating like mad and he suddenly felt the need to somehow comfort the child.
Kakashi didn't want the small girl to fear him.
He moved closer to her and slowly he pulled her in his arms again. Her small hand slowly rose to his chest and grabbed his chest as she started crying softly. The silver haired vampire held her in his arms and walked towards a small cave where he lay with the little pink-haired child.
It took her a while to calm down and let go of his shirt. Kakashi loosened his hold of her small body and the little girl got up and looked at him. Then she blushed slightly and looked away.
This sight —her blushing face and sudden shyness —intrigued him and he found it impossible to resist smirking and chucking. The child gazedat him from the corner of its eyes, the shyness gone, replaced with pure curiosity.
He shook his head and one last chuckle escaped him. "What am I going to do with you now?" he wondered out loud, eying the little girl. He had already decided that he wouldn't let her get eaten by beasts, and neither would he eat her.
Kakashi leaned back. "So, what's your name?" he asked the child after a while.
The girl tensed slightly and looked up at his face. It was half-covered. "Sakura." she informed the older male and looked away again.
The silver-haired man thought that was a fitting name.
"What were you doing there?" he asked. "Last time I checked, children and women stayed away from fights. Seeing that you are both a girl and a child, you had no reason to be there at all."
Sakura's eyes watered and she bit her bottom lip, in an attempt to not start crying again. "I didn't want to be away from Daddy," she told him in a strained voice.
"So we need to find your father," the vampire said and got up. "From which side are you from?" he questioned.
The girl shook her head and hugged her knees as she sat down. "You won't find him," she spoke softly and Kakashi knew that she was crying again, and he understood immediately the cause of her tears. The father was dead and the little girl was most probably an orphan.
So, the question remained. What was he going to do with her? The fact that he saved her from his fellow vampire companions meant that he was responsible for what was going to happen to her, in the near future at least.
As he was contemplating about his next moves, Sakura moved closer to him. "Can I stay with you?" she pleaded him. He looked at her green eyes — that suddenly reminded him of a lost puppy — and once again he found himself unable to look away.
There was no way he could do it, right? How could he, a vampire, care for a human child like her?
He didn't want to.
Right?
Somehow though every time he had the chance to leave her at the care of someone else and move on his life, something always made him go back. After a few months, he decided that he would take care of her.
And he was really happy that he had decided to keep her close to him. It was a true blessing to see her grow up and become the woman he fell in love with — and that she magically had fallen in love with him too.
If he had left her to the first human he found that was willing to take her in, he wouldn't be preparing himself for that trip to the other side of the country. A trip, that his logic screamed was pure madness. The dead couldn't come back to life.
He had contemplated about it but he always found it impossible to refuse to go — as he had found it impossible then to leave her as a child. Whenever something had to do with Sakura, he always went to great lengths for it. He did that from the first few minutes of their meeting.
After her death, he found his life empty and meaningless. He had no one to live for, nothing but the past to occupy his mind, filling his cold, non-beating heart with grief.
She knew that male's back. She knew it very well. How many years had she followed that back obediently and blindly?
All her human life.
And the beginning of her vampire existence too.
If that incident hadn't happened, she would perhaps still be following him, trying to please him in any way she could. If it wasn't for Obito, she would still be desperately in love with him.
The man moved and turned to look at her. He had, like he always did, his face covered. There was one major difference though from the man she remembered as a young woman;in the place where his right eye should be, his black eye should be, there was a red one.
Obito's red eye.
She knew that it wasn't his fault that the Uchiha died, and the other vampire(meaning Obito) had offered him his eye willingly and asked her to do the transplantation. And she did, because Obito asked and because she loved them both, Kakashi and Obito.
But after that incident, she started resenting Kakashi too.
The silver-haired man smiled. It was a genuine smile, one that she had never seen him smile in all the decades they had spent together, both as humans and vampires.
He walked towards her quickly, like he couldn't keep himself away from her. She bit her tongue, trying to control her sudden enthusiasm about his approach. His smile became more visible as he started taking off the mask and revealing his face.
This had been for so many years her dream; him approaching her, him being so eager and so happy to see her.
And she was afraid his approval of her still meant a lot. Otherwise her sudden enthusiasm and overwhelming happiness couldn't be explained. She wasn't in love with him anymore, but she'd loved him for so many years that he'd always hold a special place in her heart.
And she'd always hate him for what he caused to Obito.
But even in her dreamworld, he walked past through her, ignoring her. She turned and saw that a little behind her was a female, an unknown female to her but very familiar to Kakashi. The vampire nearly ran at her and raised her in her arms. They hugged each other with passion and longing, like they couldn't get enough of one another.
The female was peculiar, her appearance was at least. However, even though her appearance seemed strange to the older female vampire, it didn't fail to give her an elegance and unique beauty. It was that kind of beauty that Kakashi loved. Her pink hair tied in a bow, her green eyes, her fresh, white, smooth skin... it was a unique beauty.
The beauty the woman never had, never would have.
The couple started dancing, looking only at each others' eyes. As she watched them dance, she noticed that the girl's eyes drifted away and instead of looking at Kakashi, looked at her. She focused on her and then Kakashi vanished and the world became dark.
Rin jumped up from her bed. She looked around her but couldn't sense anything close to her. She ran a hand through her hair and started walking up and down her small room, in an attempt to calm down.
It didn't work like it usually did.
After understanding that she needed to do something else to relax, she walked quickly to the kitchen in her small apartment and opened the refrigerator. There she had a bottle of wine, only it didn't contain wine.
The female vampire opened the bottle and took a big slip of the red liquid. It was blood mixed with something else, a medicine-like-thing and it helped her to relax whenever she was ready to give in to her wildest desires.
It was difficult living in the human world, but not as difficult as it had once been; The temptation was a lot stronger but it was also much easier to eat without someone understanding it. It was easier to take care of the hunger, easier to find a victim that no one would miss and search for, like an orphan drug addict that lived in the streets or homeless children that ate from trash. No one would search for them. It would be like these people had never existed. In these huge cities people didn't know who lived next to them, it was easy to get lost with the crowd, as long as you didn't do something to stand out.
And simultaneously, it was accepted for one to be different. But not too different.
Rin found this whole situation a little hypocritical. They were allowed to be who they were, say whatever they wanted but whenever some people actually dared to do something different and unpleasant, they never had the time to finish.
The rest of the world didn't let them.
But it was easier to survive in the human world these days. It was easy, if one played smart and didn't take advantage of the easiness, so they wouldn't draw too much attention, their vampire-nature wouldn't be revealed.
She put the bottle in the refrigerator again and went back to her bedroom. She opened a small drawer and took out two photos. The first one was of a dark-haired man. He was fairly good looking, with a beautiful crooked smile. She caressed the photo and placed it on her pillow. The other one was one of her, the male of the previous photo and silver-haired man.
Kakashi...
...Why did he appear in her sleep? She hadn't seen him for three centuries and hadn't heard of him for two. The last thing she learned about him was that he was living in the mountains, after his cover was blown and his wife was lost.
Rin had never seen the girl but she suspected that the pink-haired girl was Kakashi's wife. She didn't want to meet her, and didn't want to have anything to do with the male vampire. No matter how much she may have loved him may — still love him deep inside — she'd never forgive him for his actions.
It wasn't entirely his fault, she knew. She was at fault too, she knew that. Yet, she couldn't help but hate both him and herself for what happened then. And she didn't want to remember — the pain, the guilt, his eyes as he turned to ash — it was all too much for her and being close to him was making everything worse.
However, she didn't want to forget either, she couldn't do it anyway. It was impossible to just look away from an event that marked her life, that involved the two most important men in her life.
She focused her eyes on the silver-haired man in the picture. He had his face hidden and looked bored. She remembered him saying it was stupid and pointless to take a picture together but she and Obito had insisted and Kakashi agreed.
He always agreed in the end; it was his subtle way of showing that he cared for them and he appreciated everything they had lived together.
She took both photos in her hands again and lay on her bed.
Has something happened to you Kakashi? Why did you appear in my dreams after all those years?
She left the photos beside her and looked at the ceiling. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and the image of the pink-haired female, the Mrs. Hatake, came to her again. She was anxious and her whole face screamed at the older vampire woman that she was the one that could help her, had to help her.
Something was happening to Kakashi, or was going to happen. Otherwise the pink-haired vampire wouldn't have appeared in her sleep.
Rin was sure that her old childhood friend was in danger, a danger he couldn't escape and perhaps wasn't even aware of. His wife's soul seemed to think that she, Rin, would be able to help him and her.
She was wrong though. Kakashi never listened to her. He didn't respect her enough to do that and if she appeared now in front of him, telling him about his deceased wife — who she'd never met — and how she was sending messages through her, the silver-haired male would think of her as a lunatic and if she insisted, Rin was afraid that he'd attack her, considering her a hindrance and an obstacle to his serenity.
Or mourning.
Or whatever he was doing that made him be in so much danger and need of help.
The question was if she'd help though. Did she want to let go of her life and find him again after all these years? She had sworn she'd stay away from him as much as possible and she wanted to honor that vow.
But would she be able to live on, knowing that he was hurt, maybe even killed, and she could have helped? That if she had done something, he wouldn't be hurt. No matter how much it agitated and frustrated the brown-haired vampire, she couldn't deny that she still cared.
Deep, deep inside her, there was still a part of her that cared and was ready to fight for him. Not die for him but maybe kill.
She looked at the photo of her and her boys and sighed. She still breathed from time to time, even when she was alone, though she didn't need to.
If the dream returned, if by any way she continued to receive this message, she's go.
She wouldn't be herself, if she didn't. She wouldn't be Rin.
...and if she wasn't herself, then she'd be unable to live in this world. In the human world, a vampire needed to be balanced to survive, otherwise her cover would be blown.
It seemed that nature was against him going to his destination. From the moment he started traveling he experienced wind blowing against him, a lot of raining and many roads that could be used as shortcuts were not accessible due to the weather.
For some reason, it seemed like the powers that be were preventing him from moving forward, throwing obstacle on top of obstacle in front of him. There were some days where Kakashi would find himself walking against the harsh, bitter wind. There were others where roads would be blocked off from flash floods or other nature storms. Those events wouldn't seem as strange if they hadn't been happening around the time he wanted to go see the Akatsuki. ...Perhaps this was a way of something greater telling him not to pursue this endeavor. Perhaps-somewhere in that big blue sky-there was something, someone trying to show him that the Akatsuki couldn't be trusted. The both both angered and soothed him. Who where they to decide who and what Kakashi could seek out to help bring back his darling wife? His one true love? His other half?
This wasn't something nature can just decide for him. When he was with Sakura, he felt something heavy in his chest-a pleasant tingle. But now his hands were stuck in a trembling fashion because his soul feels so... Empty without her. Sakura was the solution. Only she can end his misery. His loneliness.
But despite all these difficulties he had managed to travel, slower than he wanted, but he'd eventually reach the Hokage mountain and finally be able to rest.
Kakashi had generally been late in his life. It was a characteristic he had since his human years and he had paid having that flaw more than once. So he had decided to not be late for this meeting since it could very well be the meeting that would give him a reason to continue existing in this world. If he got to have Sakura back into his life, then this now ugly and gray world would become beautiful and full of colors.
He was doing this for both himself and Sakura.
But the world around him was sending signals to stop, to revise his options, his choices.
The vampire knew — knew very well actually — that what he wanted was a madness but... But the idea that he could have her close to him again, feeling her skin, kissing her and hearing her moan, was more than enough reason to give this madness a try.
He didn't have anything else to do. All these years he was hiding and mourning in a cave, eating every human being he found. He had been lost for so many years in pools of hate and grief. He had been drowning for so long that he had come to believe he didn't know how to breathe.
Even his memories of Sakura had been painful. They were all too beautiful to remember because every time he did, the next thought was always that he would never live them again. He would have preferred her with another man than dead, because in that case he could try and win her back, or at least he'd know that she was happy, even if not with him.
Knowing that she was dead because he wasn't fast enough to save her, was making this a lot worse.
It was his fault.
He had come to believe that (That it was his fault) from the moment he calmed down and looked at the slaughtered people around him, the people he slaughtered, ripped to pieces to express his pain and anger. Even then, even after them killing his love, he couldn't help but look at them and think of the times they had lived together.
Guilty.
He had felt that for the first moment but as time passed this feeling was lost and replaced by hate. Even after he had taken his revenge on them, they still made him suffer. By being guilty for causing their deaths and by forcing him in this hell called solitude.
He looked at the word around him. It was raining hard and he could hear thunders from afar.
This, the wildness of nature, could not be the reason he'd stop. He would continue traveling even if it meant he'd crawl. He owed to both him and his wife to try until the very end, to his ultimate best.
He owed it to Sakura, who had died because of him; he had made her a vampire and after that he had been incompetent to protect her.
He owed it to himself because he couldn't live anymore alone. Not after being entertained with the thought that he could be happy again.
The weather didn't get any better for days but the male vampire didn't stop traveling, and finally after days of endless walking, he'd found the place. He wasn't sure where he was supposed to go to find the Master but it was somewhere close to that mountain. He walked in a small cave and after days of ceaseless struggle, he lay down and let himself fall into a deep slumber.
The time limit was tomorrow and the message didn't specify the time. He could sleep and worry about finding where he had to go after that.
He opened his eyes as sun fell on his face and he cracked them open in annoyance. He looked outside and to his utter surprise he saw that instead of a cloudy sky, there was a bright blue sky. He could hear birds twitting.
It was like after that continual raining, the world had been cleaned and freshened.
The sight filled the man with a strange feeling of peace and serenity he hadn't remembered feeling since he was human.
He took a big breath instinctively and let the fresh air fill his lungs that hadn't been filled for so long. He found that action enjoyable and reminded him of the time it had been necessary. He rarely remembered his human life but this place brought out his human side, his past self.
As he looked around, his eye caught a flower close to a tree. He approached it without thinking. It was purple, deep purple, close to blue. He caressed it with respect and leaned closer to see if it smelled nice.
Wonderful! Rin would adore this.
Immediately he let go of it and got up, putting some distance between himself and the flower.
Why did I think of Rin? the vampire asked himself mentally.
It had been decades since his old friend had come to his mind. She had disappeared soon after Obito's death and he hadn't heard from her for many years. They met once in a town before he met Sakura and he found himself in awe at how much she had changed.
He couldn't understand why she had been so distant. How had she become that cold woman, when he had left her as an emotional and very affectionate young girl? She hadn't changed on the outside but her eyes had betrayed her inner change from the first moment. The silver-haired male didn't recognize her at first because of her eyes, thinking he had her confused with someone else. They talked slightly and then she left, without looking back at him. Kakashi had found that behavior cold and unfair.
… but now he knew better. What Rin had gone through all these decades — the loneliness and pain, the guilt and the sorrow — he knew all that now. Kakashi felt that exact same pain after Sakura's loss. He understood why she didn't look back then, why she wanted to put as much distance between them as possible.
He was reminding her of a life she had loved very much and she was doomed to never be able to repeat. Being close to him meant that she would remember Obito, her humanity and its loss, Obito's death, everything she had lost at all times.
It was ironic that after so many years, during which he scarcely thought of her, their lives were so much alike. Like it was when they were children and playmates, when he thought he was in love with her and she with him. He shook his head and looked at the sky.
He didn't know anything about her now, he hadn't heard anything about her. None of their common acquaintances had seen of her for centuries; she could be dead or hiding somewhere like he was all these centuries.
He started walking away from the flower, forcing the sudden thoughts of Rin away from his mind. He had to focus on Sakura. It wasn't appropriate to think of another woman while he was trying to bring back his wife, especially that woman. Rin had been important in his life and he was pretty certain that if they hadn't been turned into vampires and remained humans, they would have eventually gotten married.
But the vampire-turning changed everything. Vampires do not fall in love and after a while fall in love again. They are by nature searching for their other half, the other soul that exists — or will exist in the future — to make them whole. To give them a feeling of being alive.
Rin's life-piece of completion had been Obito and she his. Their human love had left inside both of them some romantic feelings, but their new nature — the vampire one — was leading them to other people's arms.
He understood that fully when he realized he was in love with Sakura, when he found himself not being able to control himself and love her. It was then that he understood how Rin felt. And it was from that moment onwards that his feelings for Rin lost complete meaning.
Suddenly the ground close to him moved and Zetsu appeared in front of him with all his weirdness and abnormality. Kakashi put on immediately a stern and serious look, forcing away his previous thoughts and focusing on the man in front of him. He was even weirder now that he was visible under the sun.
"I came to take you," Black Zetsu said.
"You are going the wrong way," White Zetsu added and chuckled slightly.
Kakashi nodded without saying anything and followed the weird man to wherever he was supposed to go.
It is all for you my love, to be one again with you, he thought and felt even more determined to go through with everything they told him to, just to give this madness inside him a try.
To be complete.
Zetsu lead him to a room full of vampires and immediately disappeared in the ground, having finished his job. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized, an old friend or an acquaintance. He wasn't able to recognize anyone.
It's better that way, the vampire thought.
It was better to not have anyone related to him know of what he was doing. It would have been difficult to explain why he was doing what he was. He had cut his bonds and connections with everyone he knew a long time ago.
Plus no one I knew and befriended could fit in this crowd.
Everyone in the room gave off the aura of a wild creature that had lost its humanity. Before Sakura's death all these men would have been his enemies; he would have immediately disliked them and kept his distance from them.
He stood in a corner and looked at his possible new companions and "colleagues" ; it seemed that the Master had a love for weird looking people. He saw a blue skinned, shark like man with a huge sword , a doll-like man, and many others that would attract attention if they walked in the street.
They all seemed outcasts.
And that's probably why they are here.
Outcasts were fitted to do crazy and unusual things. It was easier for an outcast to go against what most did and supported.
Kakashi was one of the few exceptions; he had chosen his solitary life while he could have lived and been accepted by others. It was Sakura's disappearance from it that changed his world. To him the world would be acceptable, only if Sakura was alive. If this meeting and bunch of weird looking people could offer him a chance to be with Sakura in exchange for his assistance in whatever they wanted to do, then Kakashi would willingly offer his abilities and skills to the Master.
Slowly out of the shadows a man appeared. He had short spiky orange hair and brown eyes. He wore a black cloak with red clouds like Zetsu did; it probably was the symbol of this organization. The man walked closer to the group of vampires and behind him a woman with blue hair followed. She had a light blue paper flower in her hair and kept her eyes on the floor.
Is he the master? Kakashi wondered. He looks strong but...
… but he had accepted someone else to be the master, someone that seemed more wise and knowledgeable than strong and confident.
But he could be wrong. Looks could be deceiving and Kakashi was not going to make any mistakes in this situation he involved himself in. He was going to make it work or leave and return to his cave and let himself be lost in his sorrow and pain.
Like before. Like this meeting hadn't taken place.
"Akatsuki." the man said and everyone focused their eyes on the man. "We have gathered here after a year of not having gathered together to test a new recruitment." the man's eyes found Kakashi's and the silver haired suddenly felt uncomfortable. This was not an informational meeting, like he had imagined. It seemed that he was the only that was new.
He didn't allow himself to be surprised and acted as if he had a perfect idea of what was happening. Everyone's attention turned to him while Kakashi focused on the orange-haired man.
"So, are you ready to hear what your first test will be?" the man asked.